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I have the saying, 'I will try anything once and if I like it I will try it again, and if I don't, then I won't.' I have always tried to install this little piece of philosophy into our children. They have always felt encouraged to try anything new that takes their fancy, and if they like it, and we can help, then we do our best in whatever way we can to support them.
Sometimes this is through just verbal support and quite often it is financial, and then there is the constant mummy and daddy taxi service. Occasionally it's just basic encouragement to carry on with something they have started, but then decide they want to stop because of their friend, or friends, have decided to stop doing the same activity.
With this support, our children have grown up able to play musical instruments, have a love of sport and enjoyed being active members of the Scout and Guilding Movements . It can be hectic at times and drain family resources. As they have grown some of these extra activities have been tried and then finally dropped, but they gave it a go and we're happy with that. We found ourselves in such a situation in January. Monday nights have always been hectic for the children's clubs, especially for our youngest and he was struggling. After school, there is an hour and a half of football training outside on the all-weather 3G pitch, then straight to Cubs afterwards for another hour and a half. He would have to eat his supper in the car on the way to the scout hut, and then get changed in the car park before finally getting home at 8.30pm and way past his bed time. In winter it was just too much for the lad. Training outside when it's below freezing then running about inside with the heating blazing away was leaving him exhausted, and occasionally feeling unwell.
He had been asking for some months to give up Cubs on Monday nights. His school friends had slowly given it up and the only one remaining used to annoy him. He was always hanging off him and was very loud, and when you're worn out anyone would find that annoying. We knew it was too much for a Monday after spending all day ay school so the dear wife made contact with another Cub group that met on a Wednesday evening, and which more of his school friends attended.
He was not too taken with the idea at first and as Wednesday is the only night of the week none of us is rushing about I would have liked to keep this one-night stress-free, but like I say there is always a but in life, and this but was that the wife was determined he gave this other group a try. I think the fact that the Mother-in-law had only just purchased his new cub uniform for Christmas might have had something to do with it.
So she made contact and they had just one space left in the pack, but it would soon fill up. They said he could go along for one night to try it out without commitment, we just had to get him to agree. For three days she tried to persuade him and for three days she failed. The poor lad like his dad just wanted a night off and her motherly ways were not swaying his judgment.
So I stepped in. I used my tried and tested technique for such situations, bribery. If he tried out the new cub troop then he would earn something back. I thought to myself it would be a good opportunity for the boy to learn two important lessons in life. The first being the art of negotiation and the second being to learn to keep to one's promise. So on the way home from school, I did a deal. If he tried it out for one night and he did not like it, he did not have to go again, and he could give up cubs but I would treat him anyway for giving it a go.
'What will I get then dad?' He asked
'I'll double this weeks pocket money.' Not much of an incentive as he does not get a great deal, but it was the opening gambit.
So the negotiations began.
'I'll do it for double pocket this week and ten packets of Match Attacks.'
For my readers who are not sure what Match Attack cards are, they're football related cards that children collect and exchange with each other at school. They cost £1 a pack so I thought to myself £10 on cards plus double pocket money was so just a bit too far.
So for the next twenty-four hours, the horse trading went on, but we still had not shaken on a deal. Then I thought my boy was relenting a bit when he changed track and said he would give the new cubs group a go for some Pokemon Cards. The negotiations came to a speedy conclusion and we shook hands on a deal. Five packs of #Pokemon cards and that was it. Now I know absolutely nothing about these cards or the game itself, other than when a version of the game people was playing on their phones hit the news headlines recently.
But I thought for £5 I had struck a hard, but fair bargain. So that Wednesday my son kept to his side of the deal and attended the new Cubs. When he was picked up he was smiling from ear to ear, stuck his thumbs up in the air, and he mouthed silently that he loved it.
Now it was my turn to keep to my side of the handshake and that's the easy bit I thought. How wrong was I? Very wrong! I went to the local supermarket where we always get the boys Match Attacks and where they sell all these types of card games, but they did not have any. So I drove to another supermarket and again they did not sell them. After four hours of driving half way around Norwich, I had visited three different supermarkets, three corner shops and the Co-op, and had failed miserably to locate a single packet of Pokemon cards. In desperation, I sat in the car with my phone searching Google for somewhere to buy these damn things. I had an hour left before my son came home from school.
The only place that might sell them, other than having to order them over the Internet, was a small independent toy shop on the edge of the city. When I walked through the door of Kerrison's Toy Shop on Aylsham Road I was pleased as punch to see behind the till counter a row of Pokemon cards for sale. I put my hand in my pocket ready to pull out a five-pound note.
'Can I have five packets of Pokemon cards please.' I said to the lady behind the counter.
'No problem sir,' she said, 'that will be twenty pounds in total.'
'Twenty pounds I spluttered.'
'Yes, twenty-pounds sir, they cost four pounds a pack.'
'Four pounds a pack, but I thought they would only cost one pound per pack like Match Attacks!'
'Match Attacks cost a pound a pack, but Pokemon have always cost four pounds, would you like five packs of them instead?'
As I handed over a twenty-pound note and left the shop with my five packets of Pokemon cards I was mumbling to myself, and I will leave it to your imagination the words cussing from my mouth. When the boy got home the cards were waiting for him on the kitchen table.
'Thank you dad, you're the best,' he said and then had dabbed me. Again if you're not sure what dabbing is, it's a hand gesture which I think basically means you've been done and something footballers do when they have just scored a goal. So there you have it. I had been totally outfoxed. There was I hoping to teach my boy a couple of valuable life lessons, but it was me that learnt a lesson that day.
Never try to be clever if you don't know all the facts.
Regards
Mark
P.s, my boy has now been invested into the new cub pack and is still going.
Twitter@author_king
I have the saying, 'I will try anything once and if I like it I will try it again, and if I don't, then I won't.' I have always tried to install this little piece of philosophy into our children. They have always felt encouraged to try anything new that takes their fancy, and if they like it, and we can help, then we do our best in whatever way we can to support them.
Sometimes this is through just verbal support and quite often it is financial, and then there is the constant mummy and daddy taxi service. Occasionally it's just basic encouragement to carry on with something they have started, but then decide they want to stop because of their friend, or friends, have decided to stop doing the same activity.
With this support, our children have grown up able to play musical instruments, have a love of sport and enjoyed being active members of the Scout and Guilding Movements . It can be hectic at times and drain family resources. As they have grown some of these extra activities have been tried and then finally dropped, but they gave it a go and we're happy with that. We found ourselves in such a situation in January. Monday nights have always been hectic for the children's clubs, especially for our youngest and he was struggling. After school, there is an hour and a half of football training outside on the all-weather 3G pitch, then straight to Cubs afterwards for another hour and a half. He would have to eat his supper in the car on the way to the scout hut, and then get changed in the car park before finally getting home at 8.30pm and way past his bed time. In winter it was just too much for the lad. Training outside when it's below freezing then running about inside with the heating blazing away was leaving him exhausted, and occasionally feeling unwell.
He had been asking for some months to give up Cubs on Monday nights. His school friends had slowly given it up and the only one remaining used to annoy him. He was always hanging off him and was very loud, and when you're worn out anyone would find that annoying. We knew it was too much for a Monday after spending all day ay school so the dear wife made contact with another Cub group that met on a Wednesday evening, and which more of his school friends attended.
He was not too taken with the idea at first and as Wednesday is the only night of the week none of us is rushing about I would have liked to keep this one-night stress-free, but like I say there is always a but in life, and this but was that the wife was determined he gave this other group a try. I think the fact that the Mother-in-law had only just purchased his new cub uniform for Christmas might have had something to do with it.
So she made contact and they had just one space left in the pack, but it would soon fill up. They said he could go along for one night to try it out without commitment, we just had to get him to agree. For three days she tried to persuade him and for three days she failed. The poor lad like his dad just wanted a night off and her motherly ways were not swaying his judgment.
So I stepped in. I used my tried and tested technique for such situations, bribery. If he tried out the new cub troop then he would earn something back. I thought to myself it would be a good opportunity for the boy to learn two important lessons in life. The first being the art of negotiation and the second being to learn to keep to one's promise. So on the way home from school, I did a deal. If he tried it out for one night and he did not like it, he did not have to go again, and he could give up cubs but I would treat him anyway for giving it a go.
'What will I get then dad?' He asked
'I'll double this weeks pocket money.' Not much of an incentive as he does not get a great deal, but it was the opening gambit.
So the negotiations began.
'I'll do it for double pocket this week and ten packets of Match Attacks.'
For my readers who are not sure what Match Attack cards are, they're football related cards that children collect and exchange with each other at school. They cost £1 a pack so I thought to myself £10 on cards plus double pocket money was so just a bit too far.
So for the next twenty-four hours, the horse trading went on, but we still had not shaken on a deal. Then I thought my boy was relenting a bit when he changed track and said he would give the new cubs group a go for some Pokemon Cards. The negotiations came to a speedy conclusion and we shook hands on a deal. Five packs of #Pokemon cards and that was it. Now I know absolutely nothing about these cards or the game itself, other than when a version of the game people was playing on their phones hit the news headlines recently.
But I thought for £5 I had struck a hard, but fair bargain. So that Wednesday my son kept to his side of the deal and attended the new Cubs. When he was picked up he was smiling from ear to ear, stuck his thumbs up in the air, and he mouthed silently that he loved it.
Now it was my turn to keep to my side of the handshake and that's the easy bit I thought. How wrong was I? Very wrong! I went to the local supermarket where we always get the boys Match Attacks and where they sell all these types of card games, but they did not have any. So I drove to another supermarket and again they did not sell them. After four hours of driving half way around Norwich, I had visited three different supermarkets, three corner shops and the Co-op, and had failed miserably to locate a single packet of Pokemon cards. In desperation, I sat in the car with my phone searching Google for somewhere to buy these damn things. I had an hour left before my son came home from school.
The only place that might sell them, other than having to order them over the Internet, was a small independent toy shop on the edge of the city. When I walked through the door of Kerrison's Toy Shop on Aylsham Road I was pleased as punch to see behind the till counter a row of Pokemon cards for sale. I put my hand in my pocket ready to pull out a five-pound note.
'Can I have five packets of Pokemon cards please.' I said to the lady behind the counter.
'No problem sir,' she said, 'that will be twenty pounds in total.'
'Twenty pounds I spluttered.'
'Yes, twenty-pounds sir, they cost four pounds a pack.'
'Four pounds a pack, but I thought they would only cost one pound per pack like Match Attacks!'
'Match Attacks cost a pound a pack, but Pokemon have always cost four pounds, would you like five packs of them instead?'
As I handed over a twenty-pound note and left the shop with my five packets of Pokemon cards I was mumbling to myself, and I will leave it to your imagination the words cussing from my mouth. When the boy got home the cards were waiting for him on the kitchen table.
'Thank you dad, you're the best,' he said and then had dabbed me. Again if you're not sure what dabbing is, it's a hand gesture which I think basically means you've been done and something footballers do when they have just scored a goal. So there you have it. I had been totally outfoxed. There was I hoping to teach my boy a couple of valuable life lessons, but it was me that learnt a lesson that day.
Never try to be clever if you don't know all the facts.
Regards
Mark
P.s, my boy has now been invested into the new cub pack and is still going.
