Take it easy

I was awaiting the return of my manuscript with the final corrections from the writer's service, and there wasn't much I could do but take it easy.

The cronic pain I had been suffering was now gone and I was off the pain killers. I was still seeing the chiropractor, but now only once every two weeks. It had been hard finding the money, and at times I was tempted to give in and go to the doctors so they could put me under the knife, but I was glad I had stuck it out. I knew two other poeple who had suffered the same problem and had had surgery. Both only recoverd for a year at most before they were both back were they started, in cronic pain as their operation hadn't cured the problem. In fact one of them had gone through surgery a second time, and come out worse, and was now looking at a third, and very dangerous operation to cut some nerves in their spine.

The sun was out and I was now able to ride a bike, so I took the time to cycle with my children to school. I was still completing my two days of voluntary work, and was now helping Dangerous John every Friday down the pub as he had been inspired, and started to write his own novel, in the same way he had helped me.

For the first time in my life I was taking it easy. I didn't have the money now, but somehow the less money I had the better my life balance became, although my wife would disagree.

I was surprised when I read in a national newspaper that our very limited income now meens we offically lived under the poverty line. In felt vert strange indeed because for me I was lucky, I had a wonderful wife and children, I had my family and frinds, my health and wealth, my lovely home plus I was following my dream.

I may be poor but I feel on a personal level I am one of the richest men in the world.

Joker's Monday

The snow is falling, it's a pity it didn't fall a couple of weeks ago because if it had it would have made Christmas. I don't know about you, but I like it when it snows, although like the christmas period, after two weeks of it I will have had enough, and will want it to stop.

Anyway as today is Monday I have a few jokes to cheer you up. Some of them may have lost their funny side in translation. It's great that no matter if you are German, Russian etc etc we all have a few christmas cracker jokes to share.

How do elephants spy on other elephants?
Wiyh an ele-scope.

Waiter, there's a thriller novel in my breakfast bowl?
Don't worry, Sir-it's part of the serial.

What does Harrison Ford feed his dog?
Indiana Bones.

How does Indianna Jones find things in the jungle?
With Radars of the Lost Ark.

What did one parachute jumper say to the other parachute jumper?
Two's company three's a cloud.

These are just a small collection of jokes and if you have any more you would like to share, please feel free to share them with the world. It never hurts to spread laughter about.

The writing frenzy

After my meeting with the agent I spent the first two weeks of May 2012 in a writing frenzy.

Although I hadn't been signed up as a client I had gained something very special, and that was knowledge. As with the editors report I had purchased on my earlier manuscript what seemed negative news at the time I turned around into a postive situation.

As a new writer you have to been open to all types of advice. Yes I know some people can write their first story and get a publishing deal, and an agent in one go (it doesn't happen to often), but these people will normally have had a good university education on some type of english degree course, and have friends with a friend in the industry who can give them a helping hand through the door.

For the average person who left school and went straight into work, then learnt from the university of life, it's not so straight forward. You have to except what people say about your story especially if it's negatvie news, or reviews. If you can and you don't give up trying to improve, then trying again, and again, then you will get somewhere.

By the end of May my final draft was finished, but I still needed some professional help to polish it off. I approached the internet company that had completed an editor's report for me, and had what is called an editor's copy completed. This is basicly where an editor will go through your whole story and make corrections for you in spelling, grammer and also tidy up sentences, plus make small changes when required.

I fully recommend you have this done as it just makes your manuscript look more professional when you submit it to publishers and agents. Also it's less work for them and thus less cost so they are more likely to give you a chance.

I emailed off my final draft to the Writer's Service, then as normal it was a case of always-hanging-around. Why I waited I plotted my next move and decided to give the agents a miss this time, and go direct to some publishers once again.

I spent this waiting time on the internet completing reserch of companies who may be interested in my type of story.

The Big Meeting

So here it was, the big meeting! It was Saturday the 28th of April 2012 and I was going to an agents sesson run by the local writers organisation. The day was to start start at 10.00 with nine other people.

First there would be a talk with a top agent who had come all the way from London, on what the industry was looking for in author's, followed by a questions sesson, then followed by a one to one with the agent.

My hopes were high, very high; if my hopes where a kite it would have flown all the way to the sun. I had one advantage over the other people in that this agent had seen my whole manuscript, but only the first three chapters of the other writers.

I arrived at the very same time as the agent and nearly nocked him over with the door when I walked in as he stood in the porch way, taking off his coat. I introduced myself to him straight away. I knew his face from his twitter account which I had been following, but the way I tried to act so confident at the time, I think back-fired a bit.

He was still trying to take in his bearings and there I was shoving my hand into his like a long lost friend.

I was convinced that once we were alone he would be jumping at the chance to sign me on, in fact I was convinced that because he had had my manuscript for some time he would already have a publishing deal waiting for my signature.

I kept quite while he talked and during the questions section, and joined in the chit chat with the other hopefulls while one by one we were summond to an upstairs room for a private chat.

When it was my turn my heart rate exploded and as I walked up the stairs, it was beating so fast I started to sweat, by the time I walked into the room was my air of confidence was starting to show signs of straining.

I sat down next to the agent, he was polite and honust, but it was not what I was expecting. He said my story had potential, but I needed to make my mind up about one thing! What age group was I writing for? You see when I first planned out my story it was a childrens book, but as it progressed it became a book that adults could enjoy too. But as always there's a but, as the style changed my lead charactor hadn't. It was a miss-mass of two types and I had to decide which market I was aiming for.

I knew then he wouldn't sign me as a client and as we shook hands, said our good byes and I walked down the stairs my heart started to cry with rejection once again. I went to the toilet to steady myself, and then had a final cup of coffee that had been kindly laid on for all the guests, but I couldn't hang around the place any longer, I needed to get some fresh air, so I left.

As I walked up the cobbled road back to my car I was suddenly struck by a great sense of joy. A very postive feeling which is hard to explain. I now knew what I had to do next! I had to redraft my manuscript once again, but this time with a clear head. My final book would now be for young adults that could be enjoyed by both sexes, and also adults who are young at heart, and love fast-pace fiction.

I couldn't wait for Monday morning when I could sit down at my laptop and start writing once again.

Joker's Monday

After another Christmas period eating and drinking too much it is with relief that all the decorations have now been put away for another year.

Now I look forward to what's to come in the next twelve months and I hope all of you are too. To help you on your way here are a few jokes pulled from the crackers during our christmas day feast.

What's furry and minty?
A Polo Bear.

How does Jack Frost get to work?
By icicles.

What kind of cough medicine does Dracula take?
Coffin medicine.

How do snails keep their shells shiny?
They use snail varnish.

Why was  Cinderella such a poor football player?
She kept running away from the ball.

What's brown and sneaks around the kitchen?
Mince spies.

Random facts
A crocodile cannot stick its tongue out.
An adult African elephant's trunk can be up to 2m long!
Scorpians are considered a delicacy in China.

I know the jokes are a bit naff but with good food, good drink, and good company they seemed quite funny at the time.

If you have any naff jokes of your own that you would like to share on the next Joker's corner then please email them to danieljonesfrenzy@gmail.com.

Awards

Well done to all the winners in the five categories for this years Costa Awards. For the first time in history all five are female. Also well done to the winner of the Man Booker Award who was once again a women. If you add in the other big award for writing in the all female Orange Price and you will have a clean sweep of all the major writing prizes by women.

Men are left standing out in the cold. All these people deserve their awards no matter what their sex is because they are all good writers, but it does seem to prove a point I was trying to make in my blog called "The female advantage" posted on the 12/12/12.

Because women have worked so hard to gain an equal footing in publishing they now dominate in large parts of it. Is this now causing a female dominated circle in fiction? Are good male writers even getting on the first rung of the ladder because of their sex?

It seems to be happenning in other countries too, not just the u.k. In America, Germany, Canada, Austrlia, etc. Check it out in your own part of the world.

I noticed this trend when I first started to write and reserched in advance; who was who in the industry, both agents and publishers.

Nearly everyone was female and it did give me the idea of writing under a womens name just as women writers used male names in victorian times.

The other option I was going to do was to try and get published with no name, so no one would know what sex I was, what country I came from, the colour of my skin, or anything else about me, they would just buy the book because it was a good story with no prejudgements. The book was to be written by the unknown author.

Who knows I may even have done it!

Who Knows what my real name is!

Back to the future

Welcome to 2013. Now we have to head back to 2012 and pick up on the story, in fact we are now into April 2012, a very important month for me, but I didn't know it at the time. I had a meeting with  an agent organised through a local writers organisation, and I had also booked on to a second group sesson they had organised with people who worked in the publishing world.

I was so excited, I felt like a child in the first week of December who knew Christmas was only a couple of weeks away, but just couldn't wait for the big event. Everyday seemed to drag as if time had slowed down to half its normal pace.

Always hanging around; that's all you seem do. I was still completing two days of voluntary work, and I also was helping my friend Dangerous John on his new quest. He was now off work due to illness and our regular Friday afternoon meetings in the pub had stired a desire in him to write his own book. So now the roles were reversed as I would go through a different chapter of his every week (over a pint or two) and try to pick up on the week points then advise on how to improve them.

In the end the day came along for my first meeting with professionals, real editors, people who knew what was needed for an author to make it.

The day went well. There was a group of us sitting in a room and all we basicly did was to discuss, to ask, to talk and that was it, but I did something different from the rest. During the lunch break I approached one of the hosts and asked a simple question. If I sent him my manuscript how much would it cost me for him to read it and tell me what needs changing?

I thought it would costs hundreads but he simply said £50, so the deal was done. He gave me a contact address and asked me to send hin a hard copy only, and he would be in contact.

I thought all the other people in the group would have done the same! We were all in the same boat, all unpublished writers, all trying to get our foot on the first rung in publishing, all making the same mistakes, and needing all the advice we could get.

But no, as we all trudged out of the office I was the only one to have taken this chance!