Monday 27 August 2012

Joker's Monday

Here we are; Monday again. As this is being uploaded I am in Scotland for a holiday. I have my pad and pen with me as I advised in an earlier blog because although I am here to enjoy the delights of this wonderful part of the world I can’t help myself; I just have to write down for future use anything which may be of interest in any forthcoming  stories.
Mondays aren’t so bad when you are on holiday, but for those of you who aren’t here are a few jokes to cheer you up.

Pinnochio was getting moaned at by his girlfriend about consummating their passions. “She said that every time we make love she gets splinters,” he told Gipetto, the carpenter.
“Sandpaper, my boy, that’s what you need” was the carpenter’s reply.
A couple of weeks later the carpenter met Pinnochio. “How are you getting on with the girl now?” he asked.
“Who needs girl’s?” replied Pinnochio.

It was the night of the super hero’s convention, and Superman turned to Batman and said “I have just had a sexual experience with Wonder Women. I was flying over the city when I saw her sunbathing nude on the roof top, so I flew down, stripped off, climbed on and shagged her.
Batman said, “Blimey, I bet she was surprised!”
Superman replied, “Not half as surprised as the Invisible Man!”

An elderly gentleman had serious hearing problems for a number of years. He finally went to a doctor, and was fitted with an excellent new hearing aid.
He returned a month later for a check-up, and the doctor said, “Your hearing is perfect! Your family must be really pleased that you can hear again.”
The gentleman replied, “Oh, I haven’t told my family just let. I still sit around quietly; but now I listen to the conversation. I’ve changed my will three times already!”

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