Friday 16 August 2013

FRENZY a Daniel Jones Story by Mark King

Freedom, doesn't it taste good?

You forget sometimes in married life what a few days to yourself at home with no wife, or children, to bug you can be like. This week I have tasted the fruit of freedom and it was as sweet as strawberries.

Last year my mother-in-law offered to take the family to Lego Land although the invitation didn't extend to me! She wanted to take and pay for the wife, and children to go for two days while staying over night in a hotel as a little treat. I was hurt at first when I wasn't included, but my mother-in-law loves her children and grandchildren so much there are times when she just wants to be with them. I was also a little fearful of what it would be like being on my own for two straight days.

Before I married my wife I had ten years of the bachelor life, but after being with the other half for nearly fifteen years I had mostly forgot what that life was like. Well I need not have worried because I enjoyed every minute of my short won freedom. I could go down the pub when I wanted, I could eat what, and when, I wanted for breakfast, lunch, and supper. I could watch what I wanted on the television and sing as loud as I liked in the shower. I could go to bed and get up when I wanted, and I could even lay on the sofa and scratch my balls, and fart, without the wife moaning. It was lovely, not quite heaven but a very enjoyable short little break.

Of course when the whole safely family returned I was happy to see them, and also told them all how much I missed them, and they returned the compliments so everyone was happy.

So this year when my other half started to nag about not going abroad for another year I knew she was angling for some type of break during the school holidays. After a heated debate we booked a weeks camping and when the mother-in-law popped round I placed into her mind the lovely memories she had the previous year when she took her family to Lego Land.

Two days later my wife informed me that her mother wanted to take her and the grand-children to Lego Land once again for two days, and again without me. She asked did I mind? I said, "no go enjoy yourself, you deserve the break and so does your mother, plus the children we love it too. I should be able to look after myself because I did last year, but I will miss you while you are away.'

Well they went yesterday and won't be back until about 10pm tonight. I have fallen back into bachelor life with ease. The bed has stayed unmade, I spent some time with friends over a few beers and I've eaten nothing other than pizza for breakfast, lunch and supper.

I hope they enjoy themselves although the weather has been grey, rainy, and windy and maybe just maybe the mother-in-law will treat them again next year!



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