There I was 05.30 this Monday morning laying in bed with my guts churning. It's a horrible feeling and one that I had not felt for a long time, anxiety.
In my previous job every Monday morning I would awake early with anxiety eating at my soul. I worked for a company that operated seven days a week, and all the senior staff had Blackberries. When I had what was called in the company,a rest day, I would always turn my one off to stop me getting addicted to it. In the early hours of the morning I would suddenly wake up. I would try to get back to sleep, but I couldn't get my thoughts away from what emails were waiting for me, and more especially what cock-ups had happened over the weekend, and who would get the blame for it!
The more time I spent laying there in bed the more anxiety nibbled away at me. It would get so bad I would almost be paralysed with fear. Like an animal with rabies that's dieing of thirst, but is terrified of going near water.
In the end I would get out of bed, head downstairs to the kitchen and sort through my emails. Once it was over the anxiety would go away, unless of course there was a problem and other people had been quicker than you, and had already passed the buck your way!
So why the anxiety today?
I can only put this down to one thing, and that's because Frenzy is released this Thursday the 21st. After always-hanging-around the book will be out and people will get their chance to read it.
Will they like it? Will they not? This thought was churning in my head, and then I could feel myself tightened up. The book has been written for young adults of both sexes, but I have also tried to write it in such away that adults can enjoy it too. I make no claim to being an intellectual I just want to be a good story teller and I think it shows in Frenzy
I hope over the week the anxiety will ease but I have a gut feeling it won't for a while let. I know one thing, anxiety is felt by everyone in one degree or another so I am not alone, and it seems to be the price you have to pay for success in what ever field you follow. Actors, musicians, comedians, sportsmen and women, presenters, the list is endless.
Anxiety can effect people in different ways and at different levels, and is a horrible thing if you let it be, and the only advice I can give is to hold you chin up high, stare it straight in the eyes and get on with your day.